Sins of the Past
by The Rockerbabe
Summary: Sins of the Past will undo two CSIs and change everything forever. Eventually GSR
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** CSI does _not_ belong to me. But if it did… (**Wink-Wink)**

**Timeline: **_AUFifth Season, After Nesting Dolls._

**Author's Note:**I would like to thank Alison, for beta-ing this for me. You are amazing! Thanks for helping me with this! You also have the patience of a saint to deal with me!

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter One

The city of Las Vegas, Nevada was living in a state of fear. A serial rapist was on the hunt and not since the "Strip Strangler" case had there been this much publicity or pressure on the LVPD to find the perp. There had been seven reported cases, so far; one attack a day for the past week and the violence was escalating with every case. The sheriff made the decision to call in the local FBI for assistance. An agent had already made a profile, describing the assailant as a Caucasian male, between the ages of 30-40, with a possible history of abuse as a child. The bottom line was if he wasn't caught soon, the rapes would turn into murder.

Despite the large number of victims, there was little evidence for the investigator to work with. Even the victim profile was of little help; selfless, Caucasian women in their later twenties to mid-thirties weren't exactly uncommon in Vegas. The Agent in Charge and the LVPD Sheriff decided that they should review cold cases in the state, to see if they could match the M.O. and signature and turn up some new evidence. Their search had revealed nothing matching these rapes in Nevada. The two departments had then made the choice to search the neighboring states' cold cases. The feds, with their farther reaching grasps, took Utah, Oregon, and Idaho, while the police department took California and Arizona.

Homicide detective, Jim Brass sat at his desk, reading through file after file. California's database was undergoing reformatting, so the state had had to send over paper files. The man's office was filled with roughly, 30 boxes and over two hundred manila folders. With a sigh, Brass shut the file he had been reading and put it back into the box that sat beside his chair.

_One box down_. He thought, taking a sip of luke-warm coffee from the mug that rested on the corner of his desk, and kicking the finished box across the room, to the only empty corner.

Brass stood, stretched, and bent down beside the next closest box. When he stood, the contents of a thick file slipped through his grasp and fell to the floor, scattering the reports and pictures.

"Shit!" He said out loud.

The man put the rest of the files on his desk and fanned them out. Locating the empty folder, he removed it from the pile. His eyes caught the name on the tab of the folder and he blinked. _Am I reading this right?_ He wondered, his stomach beginning to turn with the knowledge he refused to believe. SIDLE, SARA typed in bold letters, was staring at him like a death warrant. The detective knelt down by the scattered papers and swallowed down a surge of bile as he began to read.

By the time he had finished reading the first report he had picked up, written by a S.A.R.T. nurse, he felt something wet trailing down his cheek. Brass brushed it away and realized that he was crying. With a long, heavy exhale, he picked up the polaroids and looked at them. Sara was small and frail looking in each picture. The writing on the white strip said that she was only nine-years-old. Bruises marred her face and neck; her dark eyes were hollow and empty. He flipped through the rest of the photos quickly; all of them detailing more of the same: angry bruises and horrible cuts that stood out on various parts of her body. One picture in particular stood out to him. In the middle of one of the bruises on her temple, a design could be made out clearly. He had seen that same design, some sort of crest, on all of the recent victims.

Brass felt cold as he realized the signature was a match; he no longer had to go through any more files. He had found the one that could break this case. More tears fell down his cheeks as he gathered the file and got to his feet. The man ignored them as he took out his pager and sent out a page to the swing and night shifts of the LV Crime Lab. Since the case was so large, both shifts had been assigned to work it so that there would be coverage around the clock. Through the glass walls of officer, Brass saw Sara and Gil Grissom heading down the hall to the conference room.

This was going to be one moment in his life that he would never want to repeat.


	2. Chapter 2

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter Two 

Within two minutes, the two shifts had gathered in the conference room and settled at the large table. The swing shift, sat at one end of the table with Catherine Willows sandwiched between Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown. Gil Grissom sat at the head of the table flanked by two other members of the night shift, Sara Sidle and Greg Sanders. Missing from the group was demoted Sophia Curtis, who was on suspension for talking back to Conrad Ecklie, the assistant lab director.

Brass paused just outside the conference room to assess the situation. He still hadn't decided quite how to approach this. The room before him was quiet; the CSIs anxiously awaiting his news on the long desired break in the case. The detective knew that once they learned the truth, they wouldn't feel the same. He cleared his throat and started to speak, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice, as he entered the room.

"I found a matching signature." he said, his voice on the verge of breaking, "It's a…uh…file from California."

With a sigh, he dropped the folder onto the tabletop where it landed with a slight bang. Brass couldn't stop himself from glancing to Sara as the contents spilled out across the table. Almost everyone's gaze was drawn to the name on the tab; Sara's gaze was drawn to Brass as if she already knew that he had found her file. Her secret would be out now; she could no longer hide it. Catherine was the first to find her voice. But as quickly as it came, she lost it, and all that came out was a choked sound.

Sara met the older woman's eyes and found that she couldn't bring herself to look away, to look around the table into the eyes of the rest of her co-workers. They wouldn't think of her the same way anymore. They would see her as a victim or worse, as unclean. Her breathing became erratic as panic surged through her. She began to hyperventilate and nausea rocked her stomach. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Greg's hand reach toward hers, but she batted it away. She was going to be sick.

Her eyes broke from Catherine's and scanned the room frantically, searching for a garbage can. She found one far across the room and leapt up from her chair in jerky movements. With a few strides, she reached the can and fell to her knees in front of it. Unconsciously, she clutched her stomach as she vomited, tears of misery rolling down her cheeks as she heaved. When she was finished, Sara got to her feet slowly and moved back across the room to the door without meeting any one's gaze. She paused, hand on the handle, as Brass called out to her.

"Who did this to you, Sara?" he demanded gently, "The file said you wouldn't talk."

"It doesn't matter." She answered, her head bowed and her voice strained.

"Yes, it does! If you tell us who did this to you, we can find him and fry his fucking ass!"

"You can't catch the man who did that to me."

"Why the hell not?"

"You'd be chasing a ghost." She whispered.

"Do you know for a fact that he's dead?"

"Yes. I saw his dead body being carted away 25 years ago."

"But that doesn't answer the question. Who did that to you?" Warrick said carefully.

"Oh, but it does." She lifted her head and looked at Grissom with tear filled eyes, "You know the answer."

Grissom felt like he had been punched, and a look of pain crossed his face.

"No, Sara…you don't mean…" He tried to deny the only conclusion that he could reach with the evidence she had given him.

She looked away as the tears fell. "Yes, I do."

There was nothing her co-workers could do but watch as her retreat turned from a walk to a run. Once she disappeared from sight, Greg was the first to speak.

"Who hurt her, Griss?" His pain and anger were clear in his voice.

"25 years ago, Sara's mother murdered the man who hurt her daughter…" Grissom's voice trailed off. The others waited to see if he would speak again.

"Who did it, Grissom?" Nick pressed.

Looking utterly defeated Grissom dropped his head to his hands and whispered in reply. "Her father."


	3. Chapter 3

_Lyrics to "Broken Wings" belong to Alterbridge._

Many thanks go to my reviewers. I hope you will love this story.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter Three 

The group sat at the table in stunned silence. The bomb had been dropped and it was devastating. Catherine was the first to recover.

"Oh. My. God." She exhaled shakily.

"Did you know about this?" Brass asked.

Grissom looked up at his friends and slowly shook his head. "About the sexual abuse? No and I would never have guessed…I had a… feeling about the physical abuse…there's evidence of it, if you know what to look for. She has scars on her back and… She just told me about her mother killing her father…" This time he looked at Catherine as he sighed, "Why do you think she gets so angry about domestic abuse cases?"

"We have to go and talk to her." Nick said.

"I know." Grissom got to his feet, "Let's go."

* * *

Twenty-minutes later, five CSIs and one homicide detective arrived at Sara's apartment building. Grissom led the team to her ground floor apartment and knocked on the front door. When he got no answer, he tried the doorknob and found it unlocked. They all shuffled in. Only the slow aching melody of a song playing loudly through the speakers of her stereo greeted them. The singer was crooning, a soulful tenor voice that was thick with emotion.In my opinion seeing is to know What you give will always carry you Who's to say we won't survive it to? On broken wings I've falling 

_And it won't be long_

_The skin on me is burning_

_By the fires of the sun_

_On skinned knees I am bleeding_

_And it won't be long_

_I gotta find that meaning_

_And I'll search for so long_…

Grissom gestured for Warrick, who was closest to the stereo, to turn down the volume. Once he could hear himself think he called out again.

"Sara?"

Silence replied and he led the group further into the apartment. He moved in the direction of her bedroom and he heard the distinct sounds of a shower running behind the closed door to their right.

"Sara?" Facing the door he tried again to get some acknowledgement of his presence.

When he got no answer, he cast a glance over his shoulder, saying:_ what should I do?_

"See if the door is unlocked," suggested Catherine.

He tried the knob and found it, like the front door, unlocked.

"Sara, if you're listening, we're coming in," he announced, opening the door and stepping inside.

The bathroom was full of steam. Grissom knew the temperature of the water had to be scalding for the room to have fogged up so fast. He turned back and saw Brass and Catherine had followed him into the bathroom while Greg, Nick, and Warrick hovered in the hall. Grissom spoke to Brass.

"Leave the door open."

"You got it."

Grissom made his way to one end of the shower and pulled back the dark purple curtain that prevented him from seeing what condition Sara was in. He drew it back just far enough to see Sara sitting on the bottom of the tub, her knees drawn to her chest and her head resting upon them. Her normally pale skin was rosy pink and the scars that crossed her back stood out in a brighter red, alarming him.

He reached over to the faucet and turned the knob marked "C", slowly adjusting the hot water cooler and cooler. Sara made no move to acknowledge his presence, but he knew she was aware of him.

"Cath, hand me her robe." Grissom said as he shut off the water completely.

Catherine automatically checked the back of the door and found a light purple terrycloth robe hanging there. She retrieved it and handed it to him.

"Thank you. Now can you all step out of the room?"

"Sure." Warrick spoke as he pulled the guys farther into the hallway so Brass and Catherine could step out of the small room.

With everyone out, Grissom opened the curtain all the way and Sara shivered as the cool air came in contact with her warm skin were the only sign of life.

"Stand up, Sara." He commanded gently.

She obeyed, focusing on the tattoo on her foot as he put the robe around her shoulders. Sara slipped her arms through the sleeves and belted the garment tightly around her. She turned in his direction, but didn't look at him. Grissom touched her chin and raised her head, his eyes deliberately meeting hers, showing her that he was still there and trying to reinforce the idea that he, at least, would never think of her any differently. Her dark eyes misted and her lower lip trembled. _What could I possibly say right now?_ He wondered.

"What can I do?" he asked out loud, his voice soft in the hushed intimacy of the foggy room.

"Hold me." She suggested quietly as her eyes broke contact.

Grissom stared at her and found himself unable to refuse. He had to show her that everything would be all right. He put his arms around her waist and her arms automatically encircled his neck. She buried her face against his shoulder. Sara felt safe in his arms. He could make her forget everything, besides the feeling of his arms around her. The embrace was cut short by Catherine's voice.

"Gil? Sara? Is everything okay in there?" she asked.

"Everything's fine." He called over his shoulder, and then he turned back to Sara, "Let's get you out of here."

With her arms still around his neck, it was easy for him to pick her up off her feet, and carry her out of the bathroom. He crossed the hall into her bedroom and placed her down on her bed. It took all of her will not to turn away as everyone else piled into the room. Voice wavering, she revealed what had happened to her.

"For as long as I can remember, my parents were always fighting. My dad would drink, smack my mom around, and when I got in his way, he beat me as well…my brother was the only one he never hit. I guess it was because he was a boy…" Sara sighed, "I don't actually remember what happened… what he did to me that time. The day after the…attack…he beat me into a coma. It might seem better that I lost that memory and the two days before it…but that's why I wouldn't talk. I couldn't remember if he had actually…hurt me. The only proof was the test that the nurse did on me. And it still bothers me to not know what happened…I still feel like a victim everyday."

Her throat was almost completely dry; it was getting harder to talk and she swallowed hard. "The day after I was released from the hospital…my mom killed him. She stabbed him to death a room away from me while my brother made sure I didn't leave my room. She was arrested and my brother and I were placed separately in foster care. I was adopted two days later by the Howington family."

Sara smiled tightly, sadly. "The Howington's helped me adjust, showed me how a normal family life was suppose to be…and I'm okay with myself…with everything most of the time. But there are times…there are cases…I used to drink to forget. But the memories are still there, even when I sleep, which is why I take a lot of overtime. I don't like to sleep." She contradicted that statement with a yawn.

The trial of the day had drained her emotionally and her eyes drifted over everyone's sympathetic expressions until she met Nick's gaze. His look was different. His eyes glinted with the knowledge of the same dark pain. _What is he hiding?_ She wondered as she yawned again unconsciously. Grissom studied her face.

"You need to go to sleep, Sara." He said softly.

"No." Even when she was tired, stubbornness was automatic.

"Do you want me to stay?" Catherine asked.

"No. I'll be fine by myself."

Somehow, no one believed her.


	4. Chapter 4

Lyrics to: "The Last Song" belongs to Theory of a Deadman 

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter Four 

Grissom ended up staying with Sara, knowing that the group would cover for them. Sara was lying on her side, her tired eyes looking up at Grissom. He touched her face gently.

"Go to sleep, honey," he told her, "I'll be right here."

The woman closed her eyes and Grissom leaned back against the headboard of her bed, watching over her as she slept. She had a strength and passion that he had always admired and now, he admired her even more. Sara's face tightened in her sleep and she let out a muffled cry. Grissom automatically reached out and touched her hand.

When Sara visibly relaxed and sighed, Grissom felt his heart melt. This woman had been and would always be his undoing. But she was slowly slipping away from him with each case and each day.

The next day, Grissom talked Sara into taking the day off. It had taken him over an hour to convince her that she didn't need to work and she'd still been unhappy with the decision when he left. Now she had to find a way to keep herself busy. That's why when Nick, who also had the day off, called and offered to take her out for a drink, she accepted.

The pair went to Club Rio, sidled up to the bar and ordered drinks. The music was deafening and they had to shout to be heard over the rock music that blasted through the club. The bartender placed their drinks in front of them; his: a beer, hers: a Jack and Coke, and Nick paid for both. They people watched as they sipped their drinks, when they finished, Sara studied Nick with a grin.

"Wanna dance?" she asked.

"Sure." Nick set down his glass, got off his stool, and offered his hand to Sara.

The woman took his hand and got up. Nick gave her a twirl before he led her out onto the crowded dance floor. He brought her close enough that they could dance and not get separated. When the music changed from hard metal to a bouncy punk-ish song, Sara smiled and got into it, the music freeing her. She swiveled her hips with the beat and moved instinctively closer to Nick as the floor became flooded with more dancing bodies.

Between songs, the pair had a few more drinks; this time, tequila shots. The next time, they had margaritas. After their drinks, they returned to the dance floor to work off the liquor in their systems.

The song changed to the saucy Latin beat of Sting's _Desert Rose_ and Sara, deeply into the music and the atmosphere, slipped a leg between Nick's and moved against him. Nick responded by wrapping an arm around her waist and moving in perfect harmony against her. Their eyes met and Sara felt a jolt run through her. She had never really been attracted to Nick, but being pressed up against him like that…she felt like being reckless and jumping his bones. By the look in his eyes, Nick felt the same and was just as confused as she was. He dipped his head down the two inches that separated them in height and spoke in her ear:

"C'mon, let's get out of here."

Sara nodded and as she parted from him. Nick grabbed her hand, ensuring that he wouldn't loose her in the insanely large throng of dancing bodies. Once outside, they made their way to his Tahoe in silence and remained that way as they pulled away.

After a fifteen-minute silent car ride, Nick and Sara arrived at her apartment building. The Texan parked and let the engine idle as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Wanna come in?" she asked, "We should talk."

"Yeah." He said after a slight pause.

He killed the engine and they got out of the SUV. The duo walked to the door; Sara unlocked it and they both went inside. She flicked on the light as Nick shut the door behind them. Sara tossed her keys on the kitchenette counter and headed over to the couch in the living room. She sat down and kicked off her shoes, Nick followed her example.

"So, Nick, what happened to you that you gave me that look yesterday?"

Nick's eyebrows rose and he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Wow, umm, that was blunt."

"It's a flaw." She shrugged and met his eyes in sympathy, her voice went soft, "Who hurt you, Nick?"

Nick cleared his throat but it tightened none-the-less. _I have to tell her._ "I was, uh, nine-years-old…just like you." He couldn't stop the tears that filled his eyes, "She was a last minute baby-sitter and…she…she…raped me." The last two words came out as a whisper.

He bowed his head and sobbed softly. He had finally said the words, words that he'd never allowed himself to connect to his experience. Sara's revelation had released him, allowed him to acknowledge something that he hadn't been able to, those 25 years ago. Sara moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his wide shoulders, allowing him to hide his face in her shoulder. She held him until his body stopped shuddering with sobs.

"I know, Nicky." She whispered, "I'm here…no more tears…we're strong now. We survived." Tears fell down her cheeks and mingled with his.

Nick pulled back just far enough to turn his head to look at her. He cupped her cheek with one hand, his thumb wiping away her tears. Then he leaned over and placed a light kiss on her lips in thanks. When they parted, their eyes clashed for a moment, and his hand curled around to the back of her neck. Their lips met again, sharing a deeper, more passionate kiss. He pulled her into his lap as they kissed again and again.

When they parted, both were panting with the effort to drawn in air. Sara met his eyes and nodded, unable to bring herself to say the words. Nick picked her up and carried her into her bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and they shared a small, almost shy smile. They kissed again as they undressed each other, in a rush of hands and flying clothes. The touch of his warm skin against hers brought her comfort and her inner demons were chased away when he entered her. Their eyes held as his hips picked up a steady rhythm.

An unspoken understanding moved through them; this joining was more about comfort than it was about sex. And it was the only time that they would ever be together like this. When they were finished, Nick collapsed on top of her, tired and spent. Sara wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him as her body stopped trembling with the aftershocks. After a few minutes, when his body became too heavy to remain on top of her, she shifted uncomfortably and Nick pulled out of her to roll onto his side.

His hand gently touched her cheek and a small smile graced his lips.

"Thank you." He whispered, "Thank you for chasing away my demons."

"And thank you for taking mine away."

He rested his forehead against hers, the moment binding them together. Their friendship was stronger now, not ruined. They would acknowledge that they had had sex, but they wouldn't get hung up on it. When Sara pulled away from Nick, he felt confused.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She smiled as she slipped out of the bed. Sara turned around and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Nothing." She laughed softly, "I was in the wet spot and I'm going to get a towel, because I don't feel like changing the sheets."

Nick chuckled. "Sorry about that."

His laughter trailed off as his eyes caught the glimpse of color and design that decorated her upper thigh.

"You have a tattoo." He stated, in awe and surprise.

"I have three. One on my foot, one on my ankle, then the one on my thigh."

"It's a butterfly."

"Yeah. It's a very common tattoo choice."

"I've seen butterfly tattoos before, but not like that."

"That's because mine's in the shape and color of a real butterfly, not just what the artist felt like drawing."

"What kind is it?"

"It's an Adonis Blue Butterfly."

"Wait a minute…isn't that Griss's favorite butterfly?"

Sara's brow furrowed. "How do you know that?"

"I've seen that butterfly in his office."

"Oh."

Sara looked down at her feet. Now that Grissom had been brought up, she felt awkward and shy.

"Did something happen between you two?" Nick asked softly.

"We were lovers, back in San Francisco. It was a while ago."

With that the woman turned on her heel and went across the hall to her bathroom and got a towel out of her cabinet. Her relationship with Grissom relationship might have been a while ago, but she still felt the burn from their break up. She wasn't sure how long she'd been standing there when Nick walked into the bathroom and found her holding the towel to her chest, her gaze far away. He embraced her from behind, his arms encircling her waist, his eyes noting the faded scars that criss-crossed her back.

"I'm sorry I asked." He said, "I've always thought there was something between you guys. He doesn't trust anyone easily or completely. Yet, he trusted you completely; he told us that when he informed us you would be investigating Holly's death. Also, we've all seen the way he looks at you. He still loves you."

"I know he does. But he's too afraid to do anything about it. We were together for a few years Nicky and then he left me and moved to Vegas." Tears fell down her cheeks.

Gentle hands turned her around and wiped away her tears. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"No more talking about Grissom tonight," he said, deciding that it would be best to forget about everything else but them for the time being. "Let's get some sleep."

Sara nodded and they re-entered her bedroom. She spread out the large towel she had almost forgotten she was holding and Nick climbed back into bed. The woman shifted nervously on her feet.

"I like to listen to music when I go to sleep, is that okay with you?"

"Of course."

Sara left the room and turned on her stereo. She turned up the volume and returned to the bedroom. She got into bed and lay beside Nick. The pair drifted off to sleep, waking off and on, through out the night, as nightmares haunted their dreams. In the end, they slept facing each other, their hands laced in a strong grip; hoping that, that would somehow keep the bad dreams at bay.

* * *

"I think we should check on Sara." Greg said as he walked out of an interrogation room with Grissom and Brass after the end of their shift.

They had been interviewing a potential suspect that had been picked up earlier. Unfortunately, he wasn't their guy. He had a rock solid alibi. The case was getting more and more frustrating. Yet another victim had been reported that day.

"Yeah." Catherine agreed, her voice shocking them all.

The guys turned around to see Catherine and Warrick standing together in the hall behind them.

"I was going to later. I want to make sure she's not hitting the bottle. That girl was headed towards a burnout before…and now with this…" she trailed off, shaking of her head.

"She promised me that she'd curb her drinking, but after yesterday, I'm not sure that she'll be able to," Grissom acknowledged.

"Why are we still talking then?" asked Brass.

"No shit. I'll drive." Warrick offered.

Within fifteen minutes, they were once again walking into Sara's semi-quiet apartment. Like before, music played through the uninhabited rooms.

"What if she's asleep?" Warrick demanded in a stage whisper as he shut the door behind them. "Y'know she doesn't like to be disturbed."

"We're here outta concern." Greg replied, "She'll forgive us."

The group approached the closed bedroom door. Grissom, who was leading the way, again, opened the door slowly and stopped dead. Catherine, curious, pushed him out of the way so everyone else could get through. The sight that greeted them was shocking, but for Grissom, it was like a bullet through the heart. Sara lay asleep in her bed beside Nick, their naked bodies barely covered by a sheet.

"Shit!" whispered Brass. Catherine thoughts echoed his sentiments exactly.

But her heart clenched as she saw that the pair were holding hands like two frightened children, not entwined like lovers. And as she looked at Grissom, she knew he hadn't noticed that detail. She bit her lower lip as Sara moved, stirring slightly as sleep had left her. Despite the intimacy of the previous night, Sara was self conscious enough to hold the sheet to her as she sat up slowly. She rubbed her eyes sleepily with her free hand and finally noticed her visitors. When her brain processed what she was seeing, Sara's eyes went wide and she felt a shock go through her.

"Oh, God!" she exclaimed.

Her expression contorted from surprise to sorrow as she looked at Grissom. Thunderous anger played across his featured and his eyes blazed. Nick sat up, feeling Sara's absence from beside him. His gaze followed hers.

"Oh, shit!" he cursed.

Sara felt tears sting her eyes and she started to rise to go to Grissom, before she realized that such an action would expose Nick. Collapsing back onto her bed, she pleaded with him.

"Griss, please. This isn't what it looks like."

He gave her a cold look that chilled her and cut to the bone. Then he turned his back on her and pushed his way between Warrick and Greg. Silence filled the room and the lyrics of the song suddenly became clear to everyone in the room.

_And I missed the last song_

_And I'll miss you_

_And this time, this one's for us_

_I missed the last song_

_I blame myself for just standing there too long_

_I missed the last song._


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I know a lot of you have had a hard time wrapping your minds around how I viewed Sara and Grissom's past relationship, my beta did too. But something that the commentators in "Butterflied" said, made me think about how far had their relationship gone that he couldn't give everything up to be with her (the "her" that is alluded, is Sara, in my mind) so, this is the product…I hope that it doesn't bother you so much that you don't enjoy the story…(And I apologize if this doesn't make much sense…it's been a rough couple of days.)

Here's the quote from the "Butterflied" Commentary:

_During the conference call, where Grissom is talking to Catherine, Warrick, Greg, and Sara via cellphone._

CM: The intention here, to make this very intimate for Grissom, that he had almost moved in with this young woman, had almost moved into her house, lived with her.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter Five

Sara couldn't wait any longer. She got out of the bed, pulling the sheet with her. Nick, before his nude body was completely bared to the room, covered himself with a pillow. The woman passed through her crowded doorframe and went after Grissom. He was standing in the living room, facing her door, with his back to her.

"Griss… Gil, please, just listen to me. This…this wasn't anything. It didn't mean anything, not like what you're thinking."

Without turning around Grissom raised his hand, silencing her.

"Sara, I can't even look at you right now. Your trying to explain everything isn't helping."

Her body began to shake and her knees weakened. His tone was so cold. Tears fell down her cheeks in hot rivers.

"Please, Gil…please." She whispered, "Please."

"Warrick," he said, ignoring her pleas, "give me your car keys."

Sara watched as Warrick walked around her and, without a word, handed his keys over to their boss. He then stepped back and folded his arms across his chest, watching Grissom with unhappy eyes.

"Gil, please, don't leave me!" she cried, uncaring of the tone of desperation in her voice, "Don't leave me! Not again!"

Without a backwards glance, he moved to the door. Then he paused and turned around. He looked everywhere but at Sara.

"If anyone else wants to leave…" Grissom stated, leaving his statement open.

Greg joined him at the door, looking unhappy. Brass stepped forward and paused beside Sara.

"This isn't about sides." He whispered.

Then he went to the door, joining the other two men.

"We'll find our own way home." Catherine told him.

Grissom nodded, and then he did the impossible. His eyes met Sara's. They were as cold as his tone and she could see the naked fury there. She swallowed hard.

"Gil…I'm s---"

He cut her off. "Don't even say it, Sara. I don't want to hear it."

"Sorry. I'm sorry." Her legs gave out and she fell to her knees, sobbing.

The sheet spilled around her body, giving the illusion that she was wearing a white gown. Her slim body rocked with sobs and Grissom watched as Nick moved to her, clad in his boxers. The younger man glared at Grissom as he knelt beside Sara. Grissom turned away and walked out of the apartment as Nick picked Sara up and carried her out of the room. Brass and Greg trudged out behind him. Warrick shut the door after them and turned to Catherine.

"That asshole." She said through gritted teeth, "That fucking asshole!"

"I know he's an asshole." Warrick slipped an arm around her shoulders, "Let's go see Sara."

They found Sara curled up in Nick's lap, sobbing as though her heart had been stepped on and shattered. _But maybe it had_. Catherine thought, feeling for the other woman. She moved forward, sitting on the edge of the bed. Warrick joined her and sighed softly.

"What happened here, you guys?" he asked.

"We had some drinks, danced a little, had a heart-to-heart about what connects us, and then we had comfort sex." Nick sighed.

"You told her?" Catherine said softly.

"Yeah. And then we exorcised our demons."

"Told her what?" Warrick's brow furrowed.

Nick sighed. "I was…raped…by my babysitter when I was nine."

The other man's eyes went wide. "I'm sorry, Nick." He gave him a brotherly clap on the back in sympathy, not knowing anything else he could say or do, "Who knows about this?"

"Just you, Catherine, and Sara." Nick sighed again, "I don't want the world to know. It was hard enough to tell you guys."

"Now can you guys tell us why Grissom acted like an even bigger asshole than usual?" Catherine demanded.

"What you guys don't know is under that stoic exterior, he is a very jealous man. And he's jealous because we used to be lovers. He's been telling me to get a life but when I had one with Hank…he always pulls me back to him. I think seeing me with Nicky, it hurt him a lot more than he expected."

"You were lovers?" Warrick repeated.

"For a few years."

"Years!" Catherine cried.

"Yes."

"I would have never guessed _years_ the way you guys act." Warrick sighed, "Why did you break up?"

"I wanted him to move in with me. He hesitated. I gave him the choice between his career and me. He chose his career. I overheard him tell Dr. Laurie that he couldn't do it… he couldn't risk everything to be with me."

"Then why did you come here to Vegas?" Catherine asked.

"I thought, hoped, that he'd still be the man that I loved back in San Francisco." She drew in a shuddering breath, "But he wasn't."

"How can you even act civil to each other after that?" Nick asked.

"Our relationship has always had its flaws. We're, were, criminalists first, which was our downfall. We are so used to seeing things in black and white, no middle ground. But when he looks into my eyes…then I drown in grays."

"You're too good for him." Nick said.

"That's where you're wrong. We're prefect for each other. But we suck at being in relationships. Our inability to relate to people is our flaw." Fresh tears fell down her cheeks; "I've lost him for good." She whispered.

"Do you think he still loves you?" Catherine asked.

"I thought he did. But after seeing that look on his face…I'm not so sure anymore."

"Do you still love him?" Warrick asked.

"He's the only man I've ever loved."

"Then you need to tell him that, or run away with your tail between your legs." Catherine said firmly.

"Cath, you know Grissom. He's a stubborn bastard."

"Not when it comes to you, Sara. You are his weakness."

"As I said, I'm probably not anymore. I've never seen him so angry with me."

"Let him cool down for a few days, Sara. Then explain and give him another chance to choose."

"Last time I did that, he left me, remember?"

"Sara, if he let's you go again, then he's an idiot." Warrick said with a sigh, "I know he values you too much to let you go."

"I hope you guys are right. If you're not, you realize that I can't stay here. I can't keep myself be hurt by him."

The trio nodded in agreement and understanding.

"We'll miss you, but if that's what you have to do…" Catherine replied, "Then do it. Don't let Grissom ruin your life."

Sara nodded, grateful for their support.

"What was the upside of your relationship?" Nick asked after a moment.

Sara smiled slightly before she answered. "The sex. It was---"

She was cut off by Nick and Warrick's protesting "NO"s. She laughed slightly, feeling a little bit better.

"Mind-blowing," she finished, when they had quieted down.

Warrick grabbed a pillow and hit her with it as Catherine looked on indulgently.

* * *

Back in his townhouse, Grissom sat on his couch. His blinds were drawn shut, blocking out the light from the sun. In his hand was a large glass of scotch already half gone. He was angry to say the least. Had he driven Sara to Nick? More than likely. Hell, he was sure he had. But of all people…why Nick, damn it!

He exhaled heavily. _You've always been a little more than a boss to me. Why do you think I moved to Vegas?_ Her words echoed in his head. During that conversation, she had treaded lightly around the subject of their past relationship. But that's what they had agreed to four years ago, after she came to Vegas. Let no one know of their past. But everybody noticed the way he watched her, the way she watched him, their symmetry, and the way they could communicate without words.

_Fuck_. He thought, putting down his scotch and rubbing his face with both hands. It was his fault he and Sara were at this point. She had told him her feelings, while he had remained distant; telling her _I don't know what to do about this_. But he had a reason for pushing her away. He hadn't wanted her to know that he was loosing his hearing. He felt old and he didn't want Sara to see him like that.

Grissom sighed again. Seeing Sara, wrapped up in Nick's arms, it cut him like a knife. Then to hear her beg him like that…he never wanted to hear her beg again. It made him feel sick as he replayed voice in his head. _Don't leave me! Not again!_ He flinched and grabbed his scotch. God, he still loved her.

Grissom lay back on his couch and sipped his scotch. Could he give everything up for her? He couldn't back in San Francisco. But now…he wasn't sure. Did he want to lose her? Never. Would he now? Probably. In the back of his mind, he knew he should apologize, but the image of them in bed played forward and his anger came to the surface. He cursed softly. _What am I going to do now? _He wondered.


	6. Chapter 6

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter Six 

The next day, Sara walked into the locker room, to find Greg sitting on the bench, looking just as somber as he had the day before. She frowned. _Does he hate me too?_ She wondered.

"Greg?" she said.

"What?" his tone was carefully blank.

"Are you mad at me?"

She sat down beside him and tried to look him in the eye. He wouldn't meet her gaze. She felt like crying again.

"Greggo," she said softly, "Talk to me. Please?"

"Why couldn't it have been me, Sara?" he asked quietly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you sleep with Nick? Why couldn't it have been me?"

"Wait a minute; I thought you were over your crush on me."

"I am, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to have sex with you." He finally looked at her.

"Greg, what happened between me and Nick wasn't just sex for the pure enjoyment of sex. It was comfort sex. There's a big difference." She sighed, "Do you hate me?"

"No, I could never hate you. I'm just hurt. I'd like to think you could come to me for comfort too."

"Greg. I'm not going to have sex with Nick again. Hell, we're not even going to talk about it again. Is that what you would've wanted? For us to have sex one time and pretend like it never happened?"

"No." he sighed, "I'd want you forever."

"See. Nick doesn't want to be with me and I don't want to be with him. But our friendship is much stronger now." Sara replied, "I'd like to think that our friendship was stronger than this, Greg. I didn't have sex with Nick to hurt anybody."

"I know. And I'm being stupid." Greg smiled at her, "If I give you a hug, will you forgive me?"

"As long as you don't try to unhook my bra or anything."

"I'll be a good boy."

The pair hugged. Sara still felt like crying, but for a whole other reason.

"I'm sorry, Sara." He whispered, "I'm sorry for everything that happened to you and I'm sorry for acting like an ass."

"Thank you, Greg." She whispered back, "That means the world to me."

The pair parted and Greg kissed her on the cheek before he got to his feet and left the locker room. Sara put her coat away and looked at the mirror that was hanging in her locker. The woman looking back at her was pale and sad. Abruptly, she shut her locker and wrapped her arms around herself. She felt cold and empty; goose bumps were raised on her bare arms. But she knew that she couldn't hide in the locker room all night.

Sara left the locker room and headed toward the break room. Through the glass, she could see that Greg, Catherine, Warrick, and Nick were all lounging around inside. Grissom was nowhere to be seen. She entered the room and sat down in the armchair that was across from the table.

"How are you feeling, Sar?" Warrick asked.

"Better. A little." She smiled slightly, "Thanks."

Greg walked over to her and handed her a cup of coffee. She took it and sipped cautiously. The coffee could either be good or it could be terrible, but it was always a toss up. To her surprise, it was good. Really, really good.

"What kind of coffee is this?" she asked as he took a seat at the table.

"The kind from my stash." He smiled and took a sip from his own cup, "Blue Hawaiian. It does a body good."

Sara chuckled into her mug as she took another sip. Her laughter was cut short as Grissom walked into the room. She swallowed and found it hard to do. He was looking at everybody and everything but her. She drew in a long breath and blew it out slowly. She looked at Nick, who smiled at her encouragingly. It gave her the strength she needed.

"Do you remember San Francisco, Gil?" she asked rising from her seat.

"I remember everything, Sara." He said, as he leaned back against the counter.

He turned to her and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes met hers, almost in defiance. His icy blue eyes were still angry.

"Do you still love me?"

She got straight to the point. In this situation, beating around the bush wouldn't cover it. Emotion flashed behind the anger in his eyes. Sadness? Regret? Sara couldn't tell. He remained silent and looked away. This time, he looked at Nick. The younger man glared at him.

"I need to know, Gil." Sara said softly, drawing his attention back to her, "After this case, I don't know if I can stay here anymore. I know I can't if you hate me. It'll make work hard. Too hard. I need to know soon…"

With her piece said, she got to her feet and left the room. Sara made it half-way down the hallway when she was flagged down by Hodges. She took a long sip of coffee and followed him to the DNA lab.

"We found a match to the skin sample---well, not an exact match, but a family match, y'know several alleals---"

"Whoa! Hodges, stop babbling." Sara held up her free hand, "First, what skin sample? And second, "we"? You don't have anything to do with DNA."

The tech looked surprised. "Grissom didn't tell you?" he asked, brushing aside her second question.

"He…No."

"Oh, well, another victim was found yesterday and the nurse found skin under her nails."

"That's good; at least we finally have a lead."

An uncomfortable look crossed the man's face. "Don't start celebrating yet."

"Why?"

The printer behind them buzzed as a piece of paper came out of the machine. Hodges grabbed the sheet and looked down as he handed it to Sara.

"Because of the bloodline that is shared." He replied.

With furrowed brows, Sara looked down at the paper and felt nausea wash over her as she read the name. She shoved the paper back at him and turned on her heel, exiting the lab as quickly as she could. She stared at the ground as she walked; so when Nick stepped out of the break room he bumped into Sara. The coffee she clutched in her hand spilt on them both. The surprise of the somewhat hot liquid on her shirt brought her out of her shock.

"I'm sorry, Nick." She said feeling tears sting her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Sara. Don't worry about it…" He trailed off, "Are you okay?"

"No." she choked up and started crying harder.

"C'mon, let's get some new shirts and we'll talk." He slipped an arm around her shoulder and took her to the locker room.

Once inside, Sara collapsed on the bench and started to cry. Nick had a feeling that it wasn't about the coffee but he wasn't going to press her on it. He sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried. In the last three days, he had seen her cry more than he'd ever thought he would. When she was finished, she stood and opened her locker. Sara pulled out the only spare shirt she could find, a white tank top, and stripped off her coffee-soaked t-shirt.

She yanked the tank on quickly and cleared her throat. She tossed the t-shirt in the bottom of her locker and shut the door before she turned and faced Nick again.

"Talk to me, Sar." He said gently.

"Evidently, there was another victim yesterday…they found some skin tags and made a family match."

Nick remained silent, waiting for her to be able to say the obvious. He knew that it would be better for her to just say it.

"To me. It was my family, my brother, Nicky." She whispered.

4


	7. Chapter 7

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter Seven 

A few hours later after going over notes and carefully avoiding Grissom, Sara heard through the grapevine that Brass had apprehended a suspect. She knew that it meant her brother, Danny, was in custody. He was the only male in her immediate family. She wanted, needed, to at least see her brother. It had been twenty-five years since she had seen him last, and she couldn't quite believe that her protector had turned to this. She ran into Grissom on her way to Brass's office. Her boss just looked at her and sighed. He raised his hand to prevent her argument.

"Sara, come with me, if this is what you want." He said.

She hesitated briefly before she joined him, following him down the hall. She remained a step behind him; though she usually was right beside him, close enough to have their bodies brush against each other as they walked. That saddened her more than anything. The pair paused outside the empty interrogation room. Brass joined them a minute later.

"We have two officers bringing him in." the cop explained to them, "They found him hiding out in his motel room off the strip. And when they tried to apprehend him, he fought back…violently."

"Is he in the precinct?" Sara asked.

"Yes." Brass said with a nod, "Are you sure you want to be here, Sara?"

She smiled, knowing he was just trying to protect her. "I need to be here, Jim."

"Alright, it's your call."

From down the hall, Sara heard the scuffling of feet and swearing. Her heart began to pound and she felt doubt trickle in the back of her mind. Suddenly, she wasn't so sure if she could handle it. She backed up against the wall for support. She felt Grissom's eyes on her and ignored it. The two officers and the suspect appeared around the corner and when Sara laid her eyes on the suspect, she could not hold back her scream when faced with the demon of her worst nightmares.

Grissom's gaze flew to her. She was white as a sheet and there was a look of absolute horror on her face. Sara continued to scream, unable to stop herself. All logic told her that it was just her brother, Danny. But fear overpowered her rationality; he looked exactly like their father. She felt like a child again, scared and helpless at the mere sight of him.

Sara's scream gave away into sobs as the man stopped in front of her. Danny Sidle looked at the woman and saw his little sister huddled against the wall. He blinked and felt confused. She was fully grown again and putting as much distance as possible between them. He tried to reach out to her, but was stopped by the police officers.

"Sara?" he said, "Sara? It's me, Danny. Don't cry. Don't cry."

The woman slid down the wall and brought her knees to her chest. Even his voice sounded the same. She rested her forehead on top of her knees, still crying, but not before she noticed the ring glinting on his middle finger. As the officers dragged Daniel into the interrogation room, Grissom knelt down beside her and pulled her into his arms. She lifted her head and reached out blindly. Sara buried her face in his neck.

Grissom felt all his anger toward her melt away as she sobbed. She sounded so helpless. He had never known her to be helpless. She had always made herself appear strong. And just like that, she had him undone within minutes.

"He looks just like him. Just like him." She was saying over and over as she sobbed.

"It'll be alright, Sara. I'm here."

Grissom looked up at Brass, who nodded down at him.

"Take her away from here, Gil. I don't want her to go through this."

Grissom nodded and jerked his head, giving the other man the "give me a hand look". Brass hunkered down next to Sara and held her as Grissom maneuvered into a squatting position. Between the two of them they managed to get Grissom to his feet, Sara still in his arms. Her sobs were subsiding.

"I'm taking you into my office, Sara." He told her.

"'Kay." She mumbled into his shoulder.

He carried her down the hall, ignoring of all the stares. He entered his office and sat down on the couch in the corner. Sara stretched out her legs and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Grissom?"

"Yes, Sara?"

"Tell me that there's no such thing as a murder gene." She looked up at him with wide eyes, "Please tell me again that there's no such thing as a murder gene."


	8. Chapter 8

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter Eight 

As Sara composed herself, Grissom moved to sit in his desk chair and watched her carefully as she drew herself back in behind her walls. She wanted to know if Danny had really done these horrible things. She had to face the truth of her family's curse. The sins of the parents had affected the children. Her brother held their father's need for violence, while she had inherited both her mother's strong will and her father's love for alcohol.

Grissom tried to talk her out of it, but she knew that she had to witness the interrogation. Sara didn't know if everything was okay between her and Grissom, but for now, he was behind her.

"Did your repressed memory come back, Sara?" he asked softly, as he caught her staring at her hands.

"No. It was just the shock of seeing him…he looks identical to my father…" Sara sighed, "I didn't expect him to look just like the monster that beat me almost every day of my childhood."

She got to her feet. Grissom stood with her, but he reached out and touched her arm. The woman turned her head and looked at him.

"You don't need to do this, Sara." He said.

"I need to know, Griss." She turned her head from him and felt a pang of regret as his arm fall away.

Sara crossed her arms around her waist and headed out of his office. Concerned faces of her friends greeted her when she stepped across the threshold. She briefly wondered who in the lab hadn't heard her screaming.

"This is a redundant question," Nick said, "But: are you alright Sara?"

"I'll be okay, Nicky." She assured him, flashing her infamous gap-toothed smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"You know where to find us if you need us." Greg added.

"I know."

She moved her glance to Grissom and they headed down the hall to the interrogation room. The pair entered the observation room and Sara hit the speaker button to hear Jim talking.

"Listen, Daniel, we have evidence against you. We know that you did this." He was saying.

"Is Sara okay?" Danny said.

"Sara is not your concern." The cop narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, she is. She's my sister."

"We're not talking about her. We're talking about the fact you've raped and beaten over ten women in the past two weeks!"

"That wasn't me." Daniel said simply, his gaze dropping to the table.

"Bullshit! The women all have that crest mark from your ring! How can you tell me it wasn't you!"

"It wasn't me." Daniel repeated, his gazed still lowered.

Brass exhaled slowly. He was loosing his patience with this guy.

"If it wasn't you, who the fuck did it, then?"

"My dad did it."

"Daniel, your father has been dead for 25 years…but you know what, you're exactly like your father." Brass bit out.

Daniel lifted his head. "What did you just say?"

"You are a carbon copy of your father!"

"No, I am not!" Anger filled the man's features and saliva showered from his mouth, "I am nothing like him!"

"You are exactly like him. You beat on women weaker than you and then you assault them! Does that make you feel like a man!" Brass yelled.

"I am not my father!" Daniel yelled back, "I am not my father! I am not him!"

The man dropped his head to his hands and began to sob. But his wail turned into a scream as time ticked by.

"You could have fooled me." The cop muttered.

Brass shook his head and sighed. He wasn't going to get anything out of Daniel now. He exited the interrogation room, hearing the man's screams. Knowing that Sara wouldn't have stayed away for long, he entered the observation room, and found Sara in Grissom's arms, her head against his chest. He just nodded at them and shut off the speaker before leaving.

Sara's ears were ringing in the sudden silence. She closed her eyes and sighed. She listened to Grissom's heart beating as she calmed down.

"Gil?" she murmured.

"Yes?"

"Take me home."

"I'd take you anywhere you wanted to go." He replied, "But home is just as good a place as any."

* * *

One More Chapter to Go! Thank you all for reviewing and giving me your input! I love it! 


	9. Chapter 9

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sins of the Past

* * *

Chapter Nine 

Grissom took Sara back to her apartment. Their shift had long since drawn to a close, so he stayed with her, sitting on her couch, holding her hands. Neither of them spoke. Eventually, Sara decided to break the silence.

"So, what does this mean, Gil?" she asked.

"This, the case, or us?"

"Us, you…being here in my apartment, like this." She nodded to the twined hands between them. "What does this mean to you?"

"Sara," he sighed, running his free hand through his hair. "It means…I don't know what it means, but I'm not running this time. After you gave me your ultimatum, I did a lot of thinking. I can't loose you, Sara. But I don't know if I can give you everything you want."

"All I want is you, Grissom." Sara said, "I don't need an official title or label. All I want is to be with you."

Grissom looked at her and smiled.

"That I can do."

He leaned over and kissed her on the lips. Sara kissed him back, enjoying the feeling of his lips on hers again. When they broke apart, they smiled.

"God, I've missed you, Sara." He said.

"I've missed you too."

They kissed again, this time it was more passionate. When they broke apart, Sara looked at him, her eyes dark.

"Make love to me, Grissom."

He studied her eyes and couldn't deny her. He stood and extended his hands to her. When she put her hands in his, he helped her to her feet. Grissom wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her again. They moved together, making their way toward the bedroom, undressing each other simultaneously. By the time they were inside the bedroom, they were both naked from the waist up.

Grissom steered her to the bed, where she lay down and stretched out. He undressed her, leaving her naked before him. He stretched himself over her, kissing her thoroughly. Sara smiled at him when they parted. Her hands went straight for his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. She got them down as far as she could along with his boxers; Grissom finished the job.

He entered her in a quick, swift thrust that left her breathless. Then he began to move, in a steady rhythm, deep inside of her. Sara moaned in pleasure, her leg going around his waist, drawing him even deeper.

"Gil…" she panted, "I… missed…ah…"

She trailed off as another moan escaped from her throat. He kissed her, long and passionate, as his thrusts grew quicker. Sara was close and she knew that he was too. She dug her nails into his back, drawing a low growl from him. Grissom's ice blue eyes locked with hers.

Sara cried out his name as her orgasm rocked through her and he was a moment behind her. He rested his forehead against her chest and her hands moved up from his back to his head and tunneled into his hair. She smiled as her body rippled with aftershocks. This is where she felt comfortable…with Grissom beside her, inside her. He had always been the only man that made her feel complete.

Grissom moved off of her, into the spooning position. He took the dominant position with his back to the room and Sara smiled. He was always there to protect her and save her from most things, even herself. Sara closed her eyes and as she drifted off to sleep she could have sworn she heard Grissom whisper, "I love you."

* * *

The next morning, Sara awoke with Grissom's arms locked around her waist and their bodies molded together. She loved the feeling of his body against hers and she had missed waking up in his arms. The woman lay awake for a while, thinking, absently running her hands over his arms. She felt Grissom wake beside her and his arms gently squeezed her waist. 

"Good morning." He murmured as he placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"Morning." She replied.

Sara rolled over and faced him. They kissed again and Sara wrapped her arms around him. She pulled back from the kiss and rested her forehead on his chest.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing." She answered, "I was just thinking…"

"About what?"

"There's something else I need to do." She raised her face to his, "Will you come with me?"

Grissom looked at her and didn't ask questions. He just nodded and kissed her again. Sara felt secure once more when they broke apart.

"Gil." She murmured after a moment.

"Yes?"

"Did you feel anything when you left me in San Fran?"

"Regret. Remorse. Loneliness." He replied, "I wished afterward that I hadn't come to Vegas, but it was too late."

"It was never too late. You were my lover for years, and the man I loved for longer than that…I heard you, you know."

"Heard what?"

"What you said to Dr. Laurie. That you couldn't risk everything to be with me…what about now, Gil? Would you risk everything to be with me?"

"I have nothing left to lose but you, Sara. And I won't make that mistake again. Do you think we can do this? Be together again like before?"

"Like before? No."

He looked visibly wounded. Sara smiled and touched his face. She leaned over, her lips just above his.

"It will be better." She replied, kissing him.

When they broke apart, she continued.

"You know the truth now. You know I'm damaged goods---"

He cut her off, by putting his thumb over her lips.

"I know the truth and I don't see you any differently. You're Sara Marie Sidle, a smart, wonderful woman; you're brave, strong, beautiful, and you're my sanity."

"Oh, come _on_, Gil. Strong? Usually. Yet for the past few days, I've been nothing but weak."

"We all have our breaking points. This was yours. That isn't weak. It's a human emotion. You've been through so much so early on in life. You're stronger than you think, than you realize."

Sara just smiled, unable to think of anything to say. She rested her head on his chest again.

* * *

A few hours later, Sara and Grissom entered the visiting area of the Manedesdo Women's Correctional Facility. Soon after two officers came in, escorting an inmate between them. She was tall and thin. Her dark brown hair was heavily streaked with gray. Her dark brown eyes went wide when they fixed upon Sara. 

"Sara?" she choked out, her shock evident, a slight gap visible between her two front teeth.

Sara gave the woman a small, sad smile. "Hi, mom."

The End

* * *

Thank you for all of you that have reviewed! I hope you liked my story. Please let me know what you think! 


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